


For as long as we both live

by beespiesandplaid



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 22:05:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7332406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beespiesandplaid/pseuds/beespiesandplaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's nighttime, and the war approaches, and there are nothing but promises to ward of the fear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For as long as we both live

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Türkçe available: [For as long as we both live](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11195070) by [necessitas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/necessitas/pseuds/necessitas)



“Is this forever?” Remus murmurs against his skin, and Sirius closes his eyes, because if he feels it strongly enough he can capture this moment in its entirety, hold it in the eternal safety of his mind.

“We’re in the middle of a war,” he whispers, a statement and a confession both.

A kiss to his collarbone. Sirius is known, and his fear is matched by the unwavering strength of Remus’ heart. He always did know best.

“Then it’s for as long as we both live,” Remus says, lips to his throat, promising.

“As long as we have,” Sirius whispers, and the words turn to a moan as teeth graze his throat. He doesn’t know how this could be sinful, every moment an exercise in confession, worship, leading to a moment that Sirius only knows to describe as diving. There is no darkness here.

“As long as we breathe,” Remus swears.

“I think,” Sirius says, between rough breaths, “I think this goes beyond death.” There is too much feeling in him to be snuffed out by the failure of his heart. Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only change form. That rule applied to magic and physics alike; why should it not apply to the heart also? Until the end of time, until the end of energy itself, whatever matter makes up these feelings will continue to endure.

He sits up, slips his fingers through Remus’, meets his eyes in the gloom of a rainy Monday afternoon, and he thinks that this is surely the climax of it all. Night approaches, and with it come shadows. Sirius wants to fly on the high of Remus’ kisses, wants to give himself to Remus promises, but he’s never been an optimist.

“Moony?” he murmurs, letting his fingers trace Remus’ scars, mapping out beautiful patterns amongst the ravaged skin – the curve of a leaf, the spines of a feather, a skeletal map linking freckles into dizzying patterns. Galaxy skin, he thinks. Sooner or later, you’d find the whole world amongst the scars.

“Yes?”

“You have to promise me something.”

Remus looks at him steadily.

“If… if I die…”

“No.”

“Listen though.”

“No. Sirius, if we go, we go together.”

“You know old Voldy isn’t that merciful.”

“Pads. Don’t. Don’t even think it.”

“This stands from now until the end, OK? Even after this war, even if we grow old and grey and I just pop my clogs before you because of my bad lifestyle choices.”

Remus attempts a smile, but it is weak. Sirius can frame it like a joke, but it isn’t. Death is around the corner of their tiny London apartment every day, and he knows every kiss could be the last. So he keeps kissing, because it pushes away the fear, but every quiet moment feels stolen, like borrowed time. He closes his eyes, and memorizes the feel of Remus fingers tracing patterns across his chest.

“If I’m gone, and there is someone else, you need to promise to take the chance to be with them, OK? I want you to be happy, always, and if someone else can do that, ever, you must take it. And you mustn’t feel guilty. OK?”

“There’s no one else. How can there be?”

Sirius gazes at Remus, and he smiles sadly. “I hope there never needs to be. But if I end up watching you from the other side of the veil, and you are moping around like a sad old sod, I’ll not be happy.”

“Shut up will you,” Remus murmurs. “This was much nicer when you were swearing we’d spend eternity together.”

“We will, Moony, but if we happen to be on different planes for awhile, I don’t want you going mad from sex deprivation.”

Remus scoffs. “As if. That’s you.”

Sirius takes his hands, and leans their foreheads together. Their laughter fades to silence. “Promise.”

Closing his eyes, Remus exhales. His breath tickles Sirius lips. “I promise.”

“Do you mean it?”

“I mean it. And you. I don’t want you alone either.”

“There’s no one else, how can there be?”

“It doesn’t work like that. You can’t make me swear and throw the words back at me.”

Sirius smiles against Remus mouth. “I’m easy to get over, my dear Moony, but you – there’s no recovering from you.”

Sirius can feel Remus wrinkling his forehead. His hand grips his tighter. He doesn’t open his eyes, afraid of Remus expression and afraid of seeing his own reflected.

“Promise though.”

“I promise, then.”

“For as long as we both live,” Remus swears against his lips, the words dissolving into the most reverent of kisses. The shadows retreat – the future is not here yet.

**Author's Note:**

> You can thank a long walk with no one but myself and gloomy folk music for this. Hope you liked it and feel free to let me know what you think. :)


End file.
